SEBUAH PERGUMULAN

Psalm 6

O LORD, rebuke me not in Your anger nor discipline and chasten me in Your hot displeasure.
Have mercy on me and be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am weak (faint and withered away); O Lord, heal me, for my bones are troubled.
My [inner] self [as well as my body] is also exceedingly disturbed and troubled. But You, O Lord, how long [until You return and speak peace to me]?
Return [to my relief], O Lord, deliver my life; save me for the sake of Your steadfast love and mercy.
For in death there is no remembrance of You; in Sheol (the place of the dead) who will give You thanks?
 I am weary with my groaning; all night I soak my pillow with tears, I drench my couch with my weeping.
My eye grows dim because of grief; it grows old because of all my enemies.
Depart from me, all you workers of iniquity, for the Lord has heard the voice of my weeping.
The Lord has heard my supplication; the Lord receives my prayer
Let all my enemies be ashamed and sorely troubled; let them turn back and be put to shame suddenly.

 I am weary with my groaning; all night I soak my pillow with tears, I drench my couch with my weeping.My eye grows dim because of grief; it grows old because of all my enemies. The Lord has heard my supplication; the Lord receives my prayer

Tuhanku,,,lama sekali rasanya terkekang dalam kebodohan, terkekang dalam kenyataan yang seperti tiada dan sia-sia. Aku sangat merindukan peraduanMu, mengistirahatkan tiap sendi yang entah kugunakan untuk apa, mencari kembali tujuan sejati, mencari jati diriku yang sebenarnya sebagai anakMU. Aku terlarut pada sebuah rutinitas tiada akhir, mengahabiskan hari-hariku masa-masaku, tanpa sempat mengevaluasi untukMu-kah kulakukan semua.
Mataku bertambah sayu, lingakaran gelap menghiasi kelopaknya. Ak berusaha ceria bersukacita, tapi tak berjalan dalamMu membuat segala kesesakan menyeruak.
Hari ini Tuhanku, aku kembali.. ingin berlari cepat-cepat meraih tanganMu berada di pelukMu yang hangat, biar aku larut dan membasahi pundakMu dengan seluruh airmata. Karena aku sangat rindu. Ijinkanku berlama-lama di sana. Masa bodoh dengan sekitarku, kubekukan mereka sesaat asal relasi kita hidup kembali.
Kerinduanku-padaMu-Yesusku-Tuhan & Allahku